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These thoughts are of Thomas' only and should not be taken totally seriously. Keep in mind that everything you read is not likely to be 100% true!
Due to continuous demand from my over 100,000,000 readers out there, I have decided to date my entries. Yes, I know it's a big step but these things just have to be done, for us and the UCE!
Thursday, 3 October, 2002
It's been quite a while and a learning experience none the less.
Today I've decided to write about friendship and love. The point in which a guy and a girl can never be lovers because the bond that binds them as friends is already so great.
To be honest I see this happen all to often. A guy likes a girl and perhaps becomes friends with the girl (because he wants to get to know her better) but after a period of time he decides to makes his move but by this time. She has given up, she has made up her mind that you only want to be friends with her and nothing more so when this happens, she simply tells you that 'I don't want to ruin our great friendship'.
You see, girls have a biological clock that is very important to them. The female is at her prime from about age 15 to 35-40 at the max, where as males are at their prime about age 15 to 50s or older. So as you can see, girls only really have 20 or less years to really impress and if your not going to ask them out in a relatively short period of time. Than they have no other choice but to move on to the next prospect.
Guys have a strange way of seeing things sometimes and it can be said the same for girls. The times are a changing and yet there are traditional vs modern approaches in which both sexes still believe in. Girls will always expect a guy to ask them out most of the time as it is agreed that it's the most gentleman like thing to do but they may still consider going out with you to the movies as not a date as today, girls can go out with a guy as a 'friends going out with another friend' deal (despite what the guys thinks). It is here where most of the problems seem to happen.
Guys sometimes will treat a situation where a girls asks him out to lunch (as friends) as going out and if she proceeds to do this again it some how can be seen as her liking him and this as going out. However, the girl maybe thinking otherwise. All that results now is they guy might call the girl a few times saying things, asking things and the girl considering him as a stalker or annoying.
So what is the point of all of this. Well it's don't waste your time. Time management will get you there or atleast save you from a broken heart, as it's better to know sooner rather than much, much, much later. Finally, please understand the new trends before attempting...
See you guys later :)
Friday, 26 April, 2002
Well that was one of the best fooball games I have seen this year, or infact the best... the Broncos VS Knights. Broncos 18-12, man of the match De Vere, and might I add what I think will be the tri of the year. Well that's all I want to write about, too hyped over the game right now but should be studying...
Saturday,April 20, 2002
Well apparently people are getting sick and tired of me writing about girl and how they are capable of being very bad. Well I want to get one thing straight and that is I don't hate girls nor do I treat them bad in any degree. So this if for David, an entry about nothing in particular, not love, not girls. Just a guy writing a story about nothing what so ever...
Once apon a time, there was a Samurai named Shinden Itsugawa, Magnificant Lighting. His blade and swordsmanship was known thoughout the land. One day, the evil Shogun Lord of the Time, R2D2 (hey, I'm lacking ideas now alright!)destroyed the local village Fairfield. The 'hole' of the NSW province as someone referred to it. The woman and children ran left and right while R2D2 blew fireworks out of his ass... (As you can see, I'm struggling right now) Shinden saw this and a great battle in sued as the tried with all this might and power to stop the evil R2D2. R2D2, was obviously skilled as he beeped and whistled at Shinden. Shinden at this point had no reply as the Beeps penetrated this head and affected this central nervous system. How this happened, I don't know... Blah, blah, blah happpened and Shinden used a magnetic wave to blow the curcuits of the R2D2 unit and... The End... of this rather crap episode of 'Shinden the Magnificant Lightning'. Stay tune for his next adventures.
Friday, April 5, 2002
It really has been a while since I last gave an opinion... No worries, I'll just give one right now.
Well the topic of today is how some males can take rejection too personally. There is this guy that I know. Top bloke! But he happened to be on the rebound and and had eyes on a girl in which only bad things could have happened. Well anyways ofcourse he tried to make a move, sweet talk, the following around, walks home, etc... (the end justifies the means, as they say) Blah blah blah, well you guessed it, it didn't turn out too well. He told her how he felt and what do you know, she rejects him.
Now weeks later, months later, he somehow has it in his mind that she was evil, that she is a bitch! Why? Hey, I asked him and even he couldn't give me a proper answer. You see, some guys don't take rejection like how your meant too... Forget about them and move on, rather it's similar in that they will try and forget, except when they see that person. This triggers a harsh reaction of name calling and death stares. The thing is, for some males, prizes that got away are placed in a state of mind within that male that makes the 'one that got away' appear like a user, in that all of this effort was placed on the pick up. "I spent so much money on her, man"; "I even walked her home!"; and crap like that...
Some guys just don't get it. It's all about the game, learn how to play the game and what is the game? I'll tell you some other time...
Saturday, May 19, 2001
Well life is a real bitch when it comes to girls. For those who know me well, all I have to say is I'm ok... I'm fine...
Yep you guessed it, I had to let a girl down once again. I'm not mean or anything but they just keep on coming, it's not my fault that they do not understand that the man needs his space at times and a girl must meet my list of specifications. It's not that I can't appriciate onces personality but every time I meet a girl that I think has a great personality, I realise that it's not true, it's not right, it's all a lie or to put it more better, it's all a show. You see, girls are like box a chocolate, they taste nice, feel nice, look nice, but end up fattening, and can leave a really bad aftertaste. Don't get me wrong, a chocolate a day can be good for you because it can provide yo with energy and goodness.
Oh girls, girls, girls, they are so confusing. They often will say one thing and do another. In fact I shall tell you all about girls.
* Never believe when a girl crys when you've done something wrong because often they will only do it to make you feel bad
* They will never say sorry to you, they expect you to say sorry to them even if you were not to blame, dig your heels in and be a man
* Girls love attention, if you don't give then any, they shall take it to heart and not talk to you or snob you
* Girls always think there fat when often there not, no matter what, it is essential that your reply is "your not fat, you look beautiful the way you are", even if she is a 136kg whale
* Girls expect you to make the first move, if they make the first move, their either not worth it or you've just won the lottery
* Money is like drugs to them, the more they get, the more high they'll be
* And so on... the truth is, I'll be here for many years to be able to tell you all about girls but don't worry, girls seems to be a regular topic for me and your bound to here more about them from me and a guys perspective.
Saturday, November 25, 2000
First dates are a time when both boys and girls become uneasy and vulnerable. Some boys however, become very shy and his chances of ending up marrying the subject declines, that's why a respectable person such as myself has produced some guide-lines that will hopefully make you a 'stud'.
The first step is to make sure you ask her out first before turning up on her door-step as this could be awkward as her father could be home and ready to kick your ass or she think your a freak. So the process is quite easy, just before walking up to her, grab a can of coke or any soft drink of your liking and walk up to her at a very fast pace and pretend to accidentally bump into her while spilling the can of softdrink all over her. This will make her see the twinkles in your eyes and the developed or undeveloped muscles of yours causing a chemical reaction inside of her that would cause her to ask you out, to which you shall reply "ok". Now it is very important that you reply "ok" as any other words shall make her realise that you have just spilt coke all over her and she shall kick your ass.
Step five and the final step. On the night. Make sure that you look as though you are drunk, this will enable her to see your rebel side and it is very important not to talk to her for the first 5 minutes because talking to her in these first minutes can cause cancer or for her to see your true side. During the date after the initial silence it is essential that you talk to her as much as possible, things that would interest her would be how many periods does she get in a year and what is her breast size. Doing this will show her that you care about her well being. Make sure through out the whole night, let her pay for everything... This will surely enable her to see what type of person you really are, a nice guy.
Step two involves you arranging a date that combined with the shape of the moon will inhance your appeal. The shape of the moon for a long time in many cultures have been a very important 'stud' inhancer, eg. the Kapulartee Tribe of ancient Vietnam used the moon to show their loved ones that they were love gods that could rock give ladies multiple you know whats by placing their arms in the shape of a moon. If you close your eyes right now and imagine the person you like placing their arms in the shape of a moon, you too will get sexually aroused. Therefore when you arrange the date make sure you choose a day inwhich the moon will be as full as possible as this will reflect your penis size and make sure while telling her the date you place your arms in the shape of a full moon. If she puts her hands on your penis and smiles, you have been successful; but if she looks as if your a weirdo, then you have failed.
Step three involves you planning for the night. For a day as special as this first date you need to ensure that the venue will be appropriate. For the first date, you need to choose a location that seems cheap but provides you with food that is quite nice so your house at dinner time is the best place. You may be thinking right now that your house with your family looking at you two all night would be embarrassing but in truth, this would only show her that you are a family man and will be a suitable reproduction partner... and cheap. Alternatively if you think that your house is a shit-hole then it would be wise to go else-where. A homeless shelter is an ideal place for free food and a great place to meet people that are very open. Why you might ask is this an ideal place, well after your great meal of bread and water, it is likely that you shall be robbed by one of the homeless people, but instead of fighting the homeless person off, you shall give him all your money, smile and say "hear you go old fella, have my money as I am a caring person". She will begin too look into your eyes and see that you are a nice guy and realise that you will be perfect for her. If you do get pricked by a needle make sure you say "thank you old fella" so that though in pain, your appeal as a nice guy will continue.
Step four. Make sure that you wear something appropriate on the night. Now it is important that the clothes you wear reflect your personality so if you happen to like science fiction eg. Startrek, dress in the Startrek uniform; or if you like Richard.T wear a dress. This will give the girl a better idea of what personality you have as well as to show your independence. It is very important that you do dress up in something unusual because anything that is formal or appealing may make her realise that you are a geek and a stupid fag and cause her to kick your ass.
The fifth and finall step, on the night. It is essential that for the first five minutes of the date you do not talk to her as if you were to say a word to her, she would mysteriously kick your ass. After this initial silence, it is important that you talk to her as much as possible on interesting subjects that involve her. Good topics may include how often does she get her periods and how many a year, or what is her breast size. All of these topic involve her body and she will translate this as you caring for her well being. Any other topics to talk about other than this will not ensure your success so it is best to stick with my suggestions. During the whole night you should allow her to pay for everything as to allow her to experience the freedoms of our modern society as women these days insist that they should be treated as equals but this case you can allow her to be more supperior and allow her to take the role of the male.
It is very important to follow these rules and steps to ensure that your hunting experience is a happy experience. People who have not followed these steps have become bank robbers and murderers. So please, do the right thing and follow these steps so that you will not be heart-broken
Friday, November 10, 2000
Well its been a long time since my last entry and I have thought about alot since them. Don't worry all shall be revealed. Lets start off with something that applies to most of my readers and that is the end of school. Why do most people get so excited about schools end, is it really that good? For one you will leave the comforts and protection of the school grounds only to go out into the open world where you could get raped by a fat hairy rapist or sexually abused by your hot female boss. All of these and more await you once you leave your final exam.
It was quite an interesting momment after my last exam. I walked slowly with my eyes locked onto the school building that I shall never see ever again. As I walked into the junior toilet blocked I sniffed the air symbolic of the sweat and tears of school only to realise that none the less, it was toilet air that I was smelling and quicky did my business and got the hell out of there. The most enjoying part of those last momments was the final stretch. The main walkway into the school. As I was walking my eyes caught the children still in there rooms working with years left till it was there turn to do what I was doing, what would they be thinking?, will they end up with the marks they wanted?, then I thought who cares! I don't give a rats ass about them, I'm just glad that school was over for me. When that school gate finally came, all that I could think of was gee school was a real pisser and f*%k them all.
Still school was a joyful time where we spent lots of time talking about girls and what was the best way of approaching them, it was the times that we watched some of the other boys attempting to hump one another, those were the times.
In closing the school experience should be considered as a stepping stone of life and should be enjoyed and remembered.
Saturday, September 2, 2000
Today I was thinking about Charles Darwin and his theory of evlolution and it occurred to me that men and women are quite different indeed. Men exhibit more variation than women!
Variation is what makes a species servive as it enables them to adapt to changes much more easily so that individuals within the species who have the best qualities for the new environment will servive and pass on their information to their offspring and so on. As I was thinking about this I noticed that men have more variation than women when it comes to urinating. Men have so many ways of urinating, there's no dobt about it as I have tried many of these unlike women who have at most two styles.
Males have a number of ways in which they are able to release their nutrient rich acid to the natural environment which are as follow:
1.The standard up position with both hands on the object
2.The standard up position with one leg in the air
3. The spray
4. On the toilet bowl
5. Squating on the toilet bowl
6. Standing with their back against the toilet and urinating over their heads and into the bowl
7. From outside, through the window and into the bowl
8. Totally missing the toilet bowl and onto the ground
9. Full power
10. With a stiffy, slowly dripping it out or with difficulty
11. While sky diving
12. Out of a hot air balloon
13. Onto the back of the legs of other men
As you can see, men have a high level of urinating syles that would far exceed the style of that provided by women. women in my mind only have two styles which are:
1. Standard sitting down position and
2. Squatting.
These syles are obviously less superior than that of the male urinating position and in conclusion, the male has a considerably more superior urinating syles. :)
Friday, August 25, 2000
Would a wild chick or a innocent chick be better as a girlfriend?
Some people say girls are girls but that really isn't true is it? There is two types of girls I have found out and that is ones that are wild but loose and ones that are nice schoolgirls, but which is better?
The wild girls though nice in bed can provide excellent tricks in bed where up is not really up and down is not really down. They can bring you to the Moon and back in under 15 minutes and the feeling you get when you fill her is simply one of the highlights of your life. However, there is another side to the so called 'wild chick' and that is the loose vagina. Sure some people don't really mind a loose enterance but that may effect the intensity of the experience which inturn can make the sub wonder else-where. She may also be a slut and sleep with your brother, or your best friend and this will only lead to you ending up on the Jerry Springer show where you will be smashing the shit out of you best friend/brother while she spits in your face.
A innocent girl on the other hand is nice and tight. That way the maximum ammount of feeling can be felt when your super special enters her tight opening as though it's secrets must be kept only to be released when your manly sub enters the opening with the secret password. Yes baby, yess, more, more, damn you are fine, you make my world complete, yes, arrr, areerrr, oh yeah. F*ck my shorts not again. Well as I was saying, a innocent girl will have her advantage being she is fresh and is not sure what she is doing, she thinks you are the man, the one with the experience and the one who can teach her all there is to know about nice loving sex. Yet on the other hand, you would not be able to do all the things and positions you could of done with the wild chick as innocent chicks are so tight that care needs to be taken as fitting a 2 centimetre radius sub into a 1/2 centimetre hole is not something us men would want to experience but just keep in mind that this would only be a good practise for child birth. Another thing is that innocent chicks might not want to dress up as school girls while you pretend to be a teacher or they might object to giving you blow jobs or something.
In the end it is your decision on whether you choose the tight or loose chick, I just hope my experiences can be of assistence to you in your own quest to be the man. To all the female reader, its only fun and don't take it too seriously! ;)
See you next week or soon.
Tuesday, August 22, 2000
Well today was a fine day I guess except for some problems at my day job... Well lets not talk about that issue at the moment as there is better things to talk about. Last night as I had predicted before the sweet old lady that was 'going to win the million' ended up getting kicked off the show with her first question, and this after chennal nine had milked the, mind my language, shit out of that women making her look as though she could actually win the lot but I knew better.
Can men act like women?
Well today and I guess yesterday I found out the answer to this question. My good friend which I am prohibited from including his name demonstrated to me that, yes, men can be like girls in little pink flowered dresses and have their weak emotions too. You see yesterday, I found out some insider information that he felt sad at the fact that it was going to be his last day at tutor, oh how sad yet so spastic! How can you feel sad at the fact that you are going to be free from the devils that force you to labour and wip your fat ugly asses every time you get your answers wrong, I mean how is this possible. It was obvious to me that yes, men like this particular person who's names begins with P and last letter r (often refered to as big), are becoming too girlish in my view. There comes a time when boys have to be boys and girls have to be girls. Yes my friends this time is in bed where sweet loving sex can be the main focus of both man and women. They may touch each other, lick each other and yes, yes, yes, just a bit more and ahhhh, let the power of life fill the opening to a home for the offspring and home of the feelings that will drain the power out of even the most strongest man. (Dam my pants)
Well boyz and girlz, I think I've written enough for now, make sure you regularly visit the site for updates! ;)
Thursday, August 17, 2000
Today I find myself sitting back at peace with the world. Sure it's not what ever 'jo blo' would be doing at this present time but after my long campaigns and endless wars, I have made a treaty with the world. Nothing can upset me now except this stupid site builder which has been changed so that my life can be made much more difficult... Darn those freeservers! Well back to my peace with the world. I have come up with this conclusion due to a number of reasons, which are listed below:
1- I have found one of the best lingerie sites there is on the net,
2- My horoscope said that I would be, and
3- I am looking at a really nice picture at the moment that has lightened up my mood.
Sure, sure they are some of the most, mind my language, f*cked up reasons of all time but this is my site and section so I shall do as I wish. Another reason is that everyone is telling me to up date the site so here I am "up yours", only joking.
Why is there so much tv show that is all about winning a million dollar or something of that nature?
In Australia there is a show called 'who wants to be a millionare' and it is one of the most misleading shows of time. The reason why I say that is because no one will ever win the million dollars as channel nine does not want anyone to... They are quite happy to let people watch the contestants almost get there but never will. By around the million dollar range, the questions will get so impossible that even a person like me would need at least 10 seconds to answer it. Channel nine is cheap and deceptive, I do not like them one bit, however, if they were to make a little, lets say a minimum of US,000 I shall reconsider my opions. (Cash for comment), whats so bad about that.
Well I know this weeks comments aren't that good, but don't worry, I'll find something that would piss me off to write about.
OPINIONS PRIOR TO 17-8-2000
What is the greatest mistery of the universe?
Yep, your absolutely right... WOMEN!
They are an odd bunch with nice bodies, nice faces and nice packages. However, they can be the downfall of all mankind. I know that some of you may be disagreeing with me at the momment but lend me your ear and I'll happily expain. Girls are nice things, good items that show all your other rivals or friends what 'nice ones you have'. But seriously, they are a bunch of odd and somewhat mysterious things... Yet they have things that all men want....................... Ability to take hours just putting on their clothes and make up. :)
A friend of mine really likes this girl that he knows, he gave her his heart but she ran away from these feelings of his... Was that really necessary or are girls just like boys, manly on the outside but a puppy dog inside?
Nam is a really nice guy but his taste in women is absolutely, excuse my language but SHITLESS! There was a time that he was going out with a girl, well maybe not even a girl... she looked like Pikachu... no I should not be so mean but she was not that nice both character and shape. I warned him. I told him that it was a war that he would loose and what do you know, I was right. The romance was going nowhere and I could see it so clearly, however, he could not... She ended up giving him the flick, which was not very good. Well to think of it, it was good as it made him think "why the hell did I go out with her for, and to think I was going to give her a stuffed toy in a cage I made with my own hands". STILL, HE GOT DUMPED BY A PIKACHU, HA, HA, HA!!! NO PROBS NAM :)
But don't worry, lets just say he is working on new projects and with me by their sides, things should work out for the better.
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